“so quiet down, cobwebs. dust go to sleep. i’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep”
my sweet girl. my bestest little buddy. my baby girl. my ruby baby… phrases i repeat over and over to this precious gift from heaven that graced our family just three sweet months ago. three months……. where does the time go??
i have become a total softie to this little munchkin. the soft, breathy way she coos & sings to me with her puckered lips & bright eyes make me melt in a way that i was unable to fathom before being a mommy. sometimes i find myself with tears of wonder in my eyes as i stand above her & we’re singing together – this beautiful medley of “oooo” and “aaaah” and “whhhhooooo” and “ahhhoooohhh’s” – I wonder how God could create something so precious, so beautiful, so perfect… and how undeserving I am to receive such an amazing gift.
being a mom changes things. for one – when i was pregnant, i was adamant that my girl would NOT be a girly girl & wear pink. and then… every outfit that was gifted to us was pink. i had to swallow my words because we don’t have the kind of budget where i can go out and buy a whole new baby wardrobe, and besides… they grow out of things so fast anyway – i figured i would dress her up in pink and get it over with. well lets just say, i absolutely ADORE her in her pink outfits now. they’re my favorite in her closet. it’s so fitting to her sweet personality and kissable cheeks, lips, hands & tummy.
i remember hearing how horrible those 4 am feedings were, night after night. I admit, I’ve never been more sleep deprived than I have been for the last 3 months. I have gone 3 straight months without a single nights full sleep, in recent weeks waking 4 or 5 times a night. it’s overwhelming and sometimes brings me to a breakdown crying, throwing the covers over my head and saying “i can’t do it!” – but there are also the nights that i stumble into her room sleep-deprived & walking sideways, praying for strength to lift her out of the crib and stay awake for 30 minutes… that become pockets of sweet cuddle time I try to freeze into my memory. i know these days will be fleeting and even the hard times I appreciate for the gift that they are.
another thing that has changed is the way i see my husband. he was always such a sweet, loving, caring romantic man… lets just say my love for him has exponentially increased in a way i couldn’t have imagined. it melts my heart to watch him sing lullabies & rock ruby to sleep when she’s fussy. he insists that i leave her with him so i can go out & enjoy a girl’s night with friends. he brings me coffee in bed when it’s been a rough night. he takes over & lets me sleep in on those mornings i yell muffled from under the covers “i can’t do it!” he’s the best provider, protector, father & friend i could ask for. ruby will know she’s loved to the moon and back from her daddy, and i can’t wait to see the way he loves her as she grows up.
i’ve learned so much about my own mom from being a mom. i don’t think you can truly appreciate how much your mom loves you until you are a mother yourself. my mom has been a source of wisdom throughout the last few months – standing far enough back for me to learn on my own, but being there for my questions and fears i may have. day-by-day as ruby’s learning to reach, grab, roll, smile & coo… i’m learning with her, making mistakes along the way, just trying to hold my baby girl as much as i can & let dust settle on the coffee table and dishes go unwashed. this is something my mom urged me to do. truly take time away from life to cuddle, play, sing, rock, nap, snuggle, and let my love for ruby take over.
i’ve tried to take a step back from blogging, shooting, editing and working. i have been able to truly spend quality time loving my ruby baby and learning how life will change now that she’s in it! thank you for being patient with me during this time.
i will leave you with one of my new favorite poems… enjoy!
“Mother, oh Mother, come shake out your cloth
empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
hang out the washing and butter the bread,
sew on a button and make up a bed.
Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She’s up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.
Oh, I’ve grown shiftless as Little Boy Blue
(lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
(pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo).
The shopping’s not done and there’s nothing for stew
and out in the yard there’s a hullabaloo
but I’m playing Kanga and this is my Roo.
Look! Aren’t her eyes the most wonderful hue?
(lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).
The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
for children grow up, as I’ve learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.
I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.”
-Ruth Hamilton. 1958
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Scott’s groomsmen were really cool & so much fun to work with!
A tunnel pep squad for the bride before she walks down the aisle… that was a first! She & her dad had such a sweet bond & I loved capturing their interactions before the ceremony…
So precious!!!! Congrats on the baby boy :)